Doing These Three Things Can Ruin Your Relationship
By Features Desk
Friday, November 4, 2016.
Have you gone through life wondering why some of your best relationships appear to end up on the scrapheap? Often, it’s not because of fate or by accident but because of the decisions that we make.
We like to deny, of course, that our own behavior could have anything to do with anything. Many of us claim that bad relationships just somehow “happen to us.” But these mental habits are destructive. Believing that the universe has got something against us is a good excuse for not being critical of our own behavior. It disarms our capacity to improve ourselves and to set our relationships on the right path again.
Here we’re going to look at some of the habits that are ruining your relationships.
One of the biggest predictors of relationships failing, especially marriages, is rage. Rage is a consequence of not being able to process frustration, either with yourself or somebody else. And as that frustration builds, it eventually overflows in a violent and scary way. In marriages, rage can build for decades and eventually end in the destruction of the marriage. Once rage is out in the open, the person on the receiving end has the perfect excuse to find the best divorce representation. Outbursts can be so outrageous that leaving a marriage is justified.
But often it’s not the big outbursts that are the cause of the failure of the relationship. It’s the sense that one person can never be safe around the other. In fact, this is what the science says is the biggest predictor of the failure of marriages. Never being able to feel safe and secure takes its toll over the long haul. You constantly worry what your partner thinks and whether they will flip. And this constant concern is enough to provoke most people to want to leave a relationship.
Do you find yourself regularly telling your friends that you’re too busy to meet up? It could be damaging your relationships. The problem is that most people don’t have a crammed schedule, week in week out. There are breaks from work and hectic socializing to take care of the people closest to you. But even if you do have a packed out schedule, that still isn’t a proper excuse. People know that people make time for what’s important. After all, nobody is forcing you to work twelve hours a day and go drinking with work colleagues every night. That’s something you’re choosing to do over and above fleshing out your personal relationships.
It’s important that you set aside time to connect with your family and friends. Stay busy, but dedicate a morning at the weekend, or an evening during the week to seeing people. If you have a spouse, set aside time to spend with them and make it special.
Discontentment is a big problem in marriages. Many marriages start off happy, but over time, some spouses start wishing for something different or better. This is not a good idea. It quickly leads to discontent with what you have and can lead to being unfaithful.