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Speaking To Your Children About The Difficult Things In Life



By Features Desk



Wednesday, September 27, 2017.



It's never a good thing for us to break bad news as parents, but difficult news is such a regular occurrence in the modern world that we can't help but think how it impacts our children, and what can we do, as parents, to minimize it? There isn't always a lot we can do, but the trick is in speaking to our children about difficult news sensitively and forthrightly. So how can we do this?


Preparing To Tell The News

This is always the best way to make the conversation go as you hope it would. The first thing to do is think about what you would like to say, possibly practice it in your head, as this will make the discussion much easier. The timing is always the most important thing, so maybe you want to find a quiet moment when your child is on their own. And it may be important to understand what they know about the subject matter before you speak to them, this may help make the breaking of bad news much easier. For example, if you need to tell them about a relative that has a life-threatening illness or disease. There are some handy hints on psychologytoday.com/blog/fulfillment-any-age/ that breaks down preparing to tell bad news. Preparation is always important in these circumstances.


Opening Up A Dialogue

When discussing a subject like death, it can be very difficult for anyone in the family, especially yourself. The important thing when speaking to your children about a topic such as death is to be as attentive and careful as possible around the subject matter. Ultimately, it depends on the age of the child, and the older they get, the more they are able to understand. However, if you have a young child, it can be something that weighs very heavy on them, to discuss death for the first time. You should be prepared to answer any questions they may have, and these questions may be very difficult to answer especially if it's a loved one who has recently passed.


How To Explain It

This is just as important, it can be an automatic response for parents to shield their children from these types of issues, but it is a fact of life, unfortunately so the best approach is to be open and honest in this respect. And especially if there are issues relating to the circumstances of the passing of your loved one, it may not be straightforward for your children to understand. Something like a wrongful death caused by negligence can be incredibly stressful for you and the family, and it means that your children may not be able to grasp the concept easily. If you look at a site like http://www.indianapilaw.com/fatalities-wrongful-death-lawsuits/ you can see the various types of issues that occur in relation to wrongful death, most notably the story of J.P. on this site. If you look at the story of J.P., and the circumstances surrounding his death, imagine being the sibling of that poor boy! The sibling would go through so many different states of emotion, that it would be so difficult for a parent to explain the circumstances surrounding their death, which nobody wants to explain. So you may find yourself reliving the trauma again by explaining it. However, it's important to explain the circumstances if they ask.


Looking After Yourself

We can spend a lot of time worrying about the state of mind of our children in relation to something like this but don't neglect yourself. It's important to remember that when going through the stages of grief, you will go through so many different emotions yourself. So know when to step away from the situation, if it gets too much for you. It can be difficult if you have a child that has a lot of questions, especially in relation to something that's so raw and has happened recently. You need to know when to say that you need some time to yourself too. If you need some time away, or you need to send the children off to a friend, neighbor, or family member, don’t feel guilty for wanting some alone time.


It can be incredibly difficult to speak to our children about the difficult issues in life, so when the time does arise, it can be a mixed bag of emotions. But talking about it is far healthier than not talking about it. So bear this in mind, as it will be beneficial to you and your children.

Image result for adult and child talking

Picture


It's never a good thing for us to break bad news as parents, but difficult news is such a regular occurrence in the modern world that we can't help but think how it impacts our children, and what can we do, as parents, to minimize it? There isn't always a lot we can do, but the trick is in speaking to our children about difficult news sensitively and forthrightly. So how can we do this?


Preparing To Tell The News

This is always the best way to make the conversation go as you hope it would. The first thing to do is think about what you would like to say, possibly practice it in your head, as this will make the discussion much easier. The timing is always the most important thing, so maybe you want to find a quiet moment when your child is on their own. And it may be important to understand what they know about the subject matter before you speak to them, this may help make the breaking of bad news much easier. For example, if you need to tell them about a relative that has a life-threatening illness or disease. There are some handy hints on psychologytoday.com/blog/fulfillment-any-age/ that breaks down preparing to tell bad news. Preparation is always important in these circumstances.


Opening Up A Dialogue

When discussing a subject like death, it can be very difficult for anyone in the family, especially yourself. The important thing when speaking to your children about a topic such as death is to be as attentive and careful as possible around the subject matter. Ultimately, it depends on the age of the child, and the older they get, the more they are able to understand. However, if you have a young child, it can be something that weighs very heavy on them, to discuss death for the first time. You should be prepared to answer any questions they may have, and these questions may be very difficult to answer especially if it's a loved one who has recently passed.


How To Explain It

This is just as important, it can be an automatic response for parents to shield their children from these types of issues, but it is a fact of life, unfortunately so the best approach is to be open and honest in this respect. And especially if there are issues relating to the circumstances of the passing of your loved one, it may not be straightforward for your children to understand. Something like a wrongful death caused by negligence can be incredibly stressful for you and the family, and it means that your children may not be able to grasp the concept easily. If you look at a site like http://www.indianapilaw.com/fatalities-wrongful-death-lawsuits/ you can see the various types of issues that occur in relation to wrongful death, most notably the story of J.P. on this site. If you look at the story of J.P., and the circumstances surrounding his death, imagine being the sibling of that poor boy! The sibling would go through so many different states of emotion, that it would be so difficult for a parent to explain the circumstances surrounding their death, which nobody wants to explain. So you may find yourself reliving the trauma again by explaining it. However, it's important to explain the circumstances if they ask.


Looking After Yourself

We can spend a lot of time worrying about the state of mind of our children in relation to something like this but don't neglect yourself. It's important to remember that when going through the stages of grief, you will go through so many different emotions yourself. So know when to step away from the situation, if it gets too much for you. It can be difficult if you have a child that has a lot of questions, especially in relation to something that's so raw and has happened recently. You need to know when to say that you need some time to yourself too. If you need some time away, or you need to send the children off to a friend, neighbor, or family member, don’t feel guilty for wanting some alone time.


It can be incredibly difficult to speak to our children about the difficult issues in life, so when the time does arise, it can be a mixed bag of emotions. But talking about it is far healthier than not talking about it. So bear this in mind, as it will be beneficial to you and your children.


Speaking To Your Children About The Difficult Things In Life

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