American Football: Minnesota Vikings' fans are malicious and the team no longer have their game on. One angry fan speaks out.
By Rahelio Soleil
Have you ever heard of the mythical "Minnesota nice," which is said to be an oh-my-gosh-ness full of Midwest good faith?
Forget it my friend. Take one look at the knuckle scraping, deer hunting, beer bellied hicks who call themselves Vikings fans and you'll never see a more fair weather group of ignorant bastards in your life.
Everybody knows that Vikings fans have no character. When the team is up the fans are on the wagon. When the team is down the fans scatter like whores at a Billy Graham jubilee.
But worse than that, Vikings fans would rather have a losing white boy scout than a winning minority.
"I also have been a lifelong Vikes fan and have often wondered how long we would be stuck watching Culpepper's ‘shoot yourself in the foot’ type of play." - Vikings discussion board
If you're brown and you want to play here, you better drink a great big bottle of Kevin Garnett silence and never show any personality. If there is anything these boys hate up here, it's a black man who knows he is talented and worth his salt.
They prefer you leave your penis at the state line when you come here, and they don't like you to look them in the eye either.
Thus, Randy Moss couldn't make it here.
"You can have both of those idiots. Moss has done nothing except whine and complains for the past 3 years, and Daunte couldn’t pass a GED test if he had a cheat sheet. I was happy when Moss left and Ill be happier when Daunte gets his fumbling ass out of Minnesota." - Markesota, a bitchy Vikings fan.
I have been a Vikings fan for far longer than I've been a Minnesotan.
Fran Tarkington was one of my childhood idols and remains my pick for best quarterback ever. For years there wasn't an awful lot to cheer about.
But, Dennis Greene came to coach and I had high hopes once the ebony planets - Greene, Carter, Smith and Moss - started aligning. There was some solid ball there and a glimmer of a Superbowl ring in the distance.
Enter the backward bozos that populate Vikings talk, print and internet outlets.
The fans have no patience for black attitude: Fat boys in bars feel qualified to coach highly trained athletes from the safety of their stools. Somehow chicken wings and watery domestic beer make them superior to physically freakish wonder men in Purple.
When Green started coaching there were murmurs almost immediately. When he left after 10 winning seasons, one that nearly ended in a Superbowl, it was good riddance from the fans.
Green, you see, was "too big for his britches."
Now, of course, the anti-negro revellers are jumping for joy that Brad Johnson will get his opportunity to continue being old and washed up. It won't matter if we lose as long as we have guys we like at the helm - White guys.
It is my idea that the character of a team cannot be expected to exceed the character of the fans. Minnesota fans have no character and they deserve a losing team.
Even the sports writers, backwards as they are, realize we got "hosed" by giving up marquee players for nothing. Minnesota's ridiculous need for boy scouts, their knack for concentrating more on personality than talent, only generates one losing team after another.
"Yes, ladies and gentlemen, this is a team that apparently plans to enter the season with a 38-year-old and a couple of nobodies at quarterback, but what's important is the 2006 Vikings will be bringing back uniforms with purple pants...the Vikings are headed into the great unknown with Childress. He's a first-time head coach tying his wagon to Johnson, who graded out at C+ in nine starts for the Vikings last season, after flunking his way to the bench in four 2004 starts for Tampa Bay." - Pat Reusse, Star Tribune
I am no longer a Vikings fan. Vikings fans are losers. They like losing. They love trading away their gems (black players) for unproven crap.
Not because I don't love my team, it's just that I hate the fans.
Rahelio is a respected commentator on American Life. He blogs as Americanhotsausage.
Comments to firstname.lastname@example.org